23.3.2011

What I really Want in the First Place :
1) To leave this job and to go back KL as I found out that they actually trying to kick me out
2) To get married and to have my own family
3) To be independent

Instead :
1) I still stay in this job and sit like dungu and waiting for “”””””””
2) I am still single and start to spend money like nobody business
3) I become follower…

What Happen ??
1) I don’t know..tooo many ghosts follow me
2) I am going insane but actually I am not
3) I am actually dead but soul is too angry to leave my body
4) I just could not get the guy that I want ..
5) I listen too much of my mom..
6) Cos I am not rich 

Solution :
1) Monthly meeting wif Specialist / Psychiatrist
2) Eating medication
3) Going for aerobic
4) Learning music –organ
5) Try to put on a fake smile with everyone when actually I feel hot inside
6) Try to be positive all the time..hard..but have to struggle
7) Complain only inside my heart ..cant whine too much…Reason , there are others out there who is more unlucky than me..so I have to think of the bright side only..and the gloomy side I just put it right inside my heart and let it burst inside and I type whenever I feel angry so at least the doctor who read this understand how I feel..

Emotions :
1) Crying inside..I also don’t know why it happen..
2) And it can effect others too, that’s wat I observe..not to look at them in the eyes..

Suspected :
1) Commit suicide ghost still not at peace

Solution :
1) Pray and do good, Obedient, Give more..Expect Less from others, Waiting for God truly forgiveness ( I guess)